What does ‘women supporting women’ mean to you? Do you support your fellow female colleagues? Do you feel supported by other women?
In this article I am going to briefly explore my work life experience with women and try to understand why I never felt supported by them in the workplace. Don’t get me wrong I believe there are many supportive women bosses out there, in fact since leaving my 9 to 5 I have met many of them, I will just be reflecting on my past experiences.
We have probably all used the hashtag #womensupportingwomen or something similar when posting on our social media platforms.
However, in light of a few things I’ve seen unfold recently on social media, I wanted to ask what ‘women supporting women’ means to you?
I’ve got to be honest some of the best bosses I’ve ever worked with have been men. This is from my experience and I know this may not be the case for everyone:
- Men straight up tell you what they think, to your face, rather than gossip behind your back.
- Men are more understanding when it comes to time off for doctor’s appointments. Women bosses have usually said; I’ve managed to be ill, come to work, arrange childcare and do the food shop so no you can’t leave work 30 minutes early for a doctor’s appointment.
- Men want you to do well and support your decision to go for that promotion. Never has a man asked me ‘why would you want to be promoted?’
Photo by fauxels from Pexels
Let’s explore each of these statements to understand how I feel women can be more supportive.
Resolve the problem.
Women sometimes struggle to be honest in difficult situations, so instead of talking to that colleague about the problem, they talk to a work friend either to seek advice or on occasion just to gossip. If you’ve been given the job as manager, have the courage to stand up and voice your opinion in a way that is constructive and will resolve the problem. Do not create new ones.
The Best Leaders are Approachable, Understanding and Fair.
Women like to play superwomen, especially in front of other women, which can be very detrimental when we naturally compare ourselves. Yes, we have the ability to multitask, but just because we can doesn’t mean that we should.
So back to the doctor’s appointment, I remember asking a female boss if I could take an extra 30 minutes for lunch and add the time onto the end of the day, so that I could attend an appointment. At first, she refused to give me an answer. Then when she finally agreed she said, ‘I suppose you can go but make sure you don’t go shopping!’
This made me so angry because she judged me by her standards. I was genuinely ill and could have taken the whole day off sick. This made me feel that I wasn’t appreciated, trusted or valued.
I often feel that women struggle to trust others when they are put in a managerial role. They start to lack empathy and understanding, and I wonder if they believe this is how they must behave in order to be respected as the leader.
In my opinion they are doing the opposite of what they need to do in order to get respect from their staff. The best leaders are approachable, understanding and fair.
Support Your Colleagues.
I have always felt supported by my male colleagues, in fact they have encouraged me to progress and do my best. So why have I not felt the same about women in the workplace? Is it because they felt threatened by me or didn’t have the faith in my abilities as much as my male colleagues did? Does that say more about them than me?
Sometimes I believe that as women we stop each other achieving our goals more than men ever do.
Who does she think she is? What makes her think she can do that? How can she get away with charging that?
We feel it’s our right to share our limiting beliefs with our friends, families and colleagues. But it needs to stop.
Since leaving the workplace and creating my own business I have been lucky enough to meet many supportive women. Who genuinely help and support other female colleagues to get to where they want to be.
Do you believe yourself to be one of these women?
Help push your female colleagues up to greater things; it will make it all the more easier for her to pull you up with her.
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